What really matters....

It is hard to sit here and watch the world continue on like nothing monumental has changed.  Like nothing is different.  I am still trying to figure out this whole new reality, and everyone is still plugging along through life.  I watch my friends on Facebook and in real life, complain about the things I used to complain about, husband's not helping, being grumpy, being cheap,, admit it y'all are sometimes,, about the kids fighting, being whinny, not doing their chores, blah, blah,blah,,,, I get it, I really do, hell, 6 months ago, I was right there with y'all, living my mundane life, my monotonous boring life.

It is hard, when we are faced with life's daily struggles, to keep in mind what really matters.  Kids certainly don't think about how earthly things will affect their celestial well being, and we as grown ups are too caught up in the bills, mortgage and car payments that are due, to keep what is really important in the forefront of our minds.  People put too much pressure on themselves to have the cleanest house, the most organized house, when in all actuality, the dishes and laundry can wait.  The toys can stay on the floor until the kids are in bed, to be honest they can stay there until tomorrow morning when your littles will play with them again!  Calm down, I am not talking an episode of HOARDERS, here, with piles of trash and crap everywhere, with only trails and paths open for guests and family members to get from room to room.

When I had Levi I was 30 years old, almost.  I was exhausted from my two oldest and all the rules and such I made them follow.  Now, and my mum will attest to this, I have never been a clean freak, I don't care if there is clutter,, to a degree. But my kids ate what was put in front of them without complaining or went hungry.  I didn't cook for them.  By the time I had Levi, I grew out of that.   He taught me a lot.  I caught myself often thinking to myself, before launching an all out yelling match over dinner, 'what does it matter if he eats a pb sandwich or the roast and potatoes I cooked?'.  It bothered a lot of people, my older kids included.   People made comments on it, they thought I was too soft on that boy.  And I probably was.  If I could go back in time, I would have been softer on my older kids.

He got away with a lot of things the older kids didn't.  Mainly because that is all he was around, was teenagers,,, older kids,, there were none other his age in our home.  That boy didn't argue with his friends, he got along with you whether you were 20 or 2.  He just made it work.

 He knew what mattered.. He taught me what matters....

It matters that you love one another,  that you are kind, that you are generous with your gifts and talents, that you listen, and hear what is being said to you, that you care, that you do your very best, that you stick up for those being picked on and excluded, that you speak out for what you believe in, even when your parents don't believe the same thing, (think processed foods,, levi believed in processed foods!)  spending time with your family,, playing games, watching movies, hanging out.  These are the things that matter.  These are the things that affect your celestial well being, your eternal happiness.  Nothing else matters.

I would give absolutely anything to have that boring life back.  To walk in the front door and hear Todd telling Levi to stop whining,  to hear Levi complain about how unfair we, as parents, are being. I would give anything to want to turn around and not go in for those reasons, instead of not wanting to walk in to emptiness.

Unfortunately, life has a way of getting away from us, and society has an innate ability to stick it's nose where it doesn't belong and dictate how we are supposed to live, and we don't realize the opportunities we have missed out on until it is too late.  I get that we get frustrated, that we need a venting post,, although we have lived for years without using social media as one.  It used to be venting involved the husband going out to chop firewood in his anger, the wife hastily hanging laundry or thrusting dishes into the dishwasher or cupboards in their aggravation, kids doing whatever it is they do in their anger,, haha.  Now we turn to social media and make flippant comments about how frustrated we are with this or that.... and of course, we being the incredible friends that we are, are quick to jump in and take sides.  and empower those feelings.

I challenge you, before you post on Facebook about the laundry piling up, or how he left the toilet seat up again, and you fell in because you didn't look before sitting, or the kids left mud tracks on the floor,,, I challenge you to think, and be honest,, how much does it really matter?, How does your reaction to these actions affect your happiness,, affect their happiness,,,,, would you really have it any other way??

I would.

I would love nothing more then to stand at the top of the stairs leading to our basement and hear my son cutting up boxes and talking to himself about how awesome this bat cave is going to be, and how excited he is to share it with his oldest brother.   I would love to hear that annoying beep of my sweethearts dialysis machine as he rolls over onto his tube, to hear him groan as that machine drains all that poison out of his abdomen.

I am far from perfect, so please don't think that is what I am saying, I am meerly suggesting we seriously think, before we complain.  Think,, would I really want it any other way???

Because,, honestly,,,

I would.