Here's my view and opinion on the entire thing,, as muttled as it may be, it's still my stance on it....
I either have a fantastic marriage where I don't feel oppressed or I'm trapped on "little house on the prairie", or I'm completely blinded by my faith. In the 12 years, this may, that we have been married, never once has my husband mistreated me, or made me feel inferior to him. He is a priesthood holder. He is THE priesthood holder in our home. I can turn to him for comfort, for guidance, for unconditional love. Our kids can turn to him for these same things. He doesn't "rule" our home, He and I do that together. We make decisions together that affect our entire family.
When Todd and I were talking about getting married, he asked me how I felt about working, and, after being a single parent for 8 years and having to do it all on my own, my back got a little up and my response was "well,, if I have to,, but I didn't really have kids so they could be raised by someone else. but if I have to" He kinda chuckled on the phone, he was in Vegas and I was in Canada, and said to me,,, "As long as you don't want to work, you won't have to,,, if you want to get a job, that is fine, Please know you don't have to though, it is my job to provide for you and our family,, and your kids are going to be my family!" WOW!! Awesome! YAY!!! for me!!!!!! My dream was to be a stay at home mum, to be there when my kids went to and got home from school. That was/is my role in life. That is my job. Not because "little house on the prairie says it is my job" and certainly not because ANYBODY in the church leadership says it's my job... but because I am the MUM!!! Mother hood is my role!
Over the last year and a half our household responsibilities have shifted... Todd has gone from bread winner to stay at home dad, and this wasn't his first choice. He thrived on providing for our family. Watching him not be able to work, and slip into a dark abyss has been so very hard. It's a struggle for a man to not be able to do what he once could. (I told you my thoughts were muttled!)
Let's clear one thing up right now,, I hold the priesthood,,, I use the power of the priesthood every day!!
- when I say my personal prayers
- when I ask for a blessing for myself, or a member of my family
- when I sent my son on a mission
- when I take the sacrament every Sunday
- when I support a member of our church in their callings
- and when I fall asleep at night with my arms wrapped tightly around my husband!
A girl I worked with told me I was being oppressed and held back my my choice of religions. I didn't know what to say to her... I really don't like religious debates with those I don't know well, I feel inadequate and unable to get the right words out in a heated discussion. I am not well versed in the scriptures, at all. So I looked at her and responded with this... "how am I being oppressed? I love it when he opens my door, holds my hand, wraps his arms around me,, lays his hands on my head to offer a blessing of peace upon me, I love that I get the comfy chairs in church,... that all the men stand as the sisters enter the room for 5th Sunday joint meetings, I love how respected and cherished I feel, and I am beyond happy,,, please tell me again how oppressed I am"
"well you don't hold the priesthood" was her response, so I spouted off the above list to her. and she went quiet.
How often do we hear of our leaders talking about their wives and how weak they are? WE DON'T!!! What we hear is how much our leaders lean on their wives, how much they love them, how much these big strong priesthood holders depend on their partners to get them through all they have to do. You have never heard them utter one negative word about their wives.
Sounds to me like they couldn't do what they do without their partners right by their sides. And that's how it is supposed to be.
Gordon B. Hinckley, prior President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said:
“Women do not hold the priesthood because the Lord has put it that way. It is part of His program. Women have a very prominent place in this Church. Men hold the priesthood offices of the Church. But women have a tremendous place in this Church. They have their own organization. It was started in 1842 by the Prophet Joseph Smith, called the Relief Society, because its initial purpose was to administer help to those in need. It has grown to be, I think, the largest women’s organization in the world... They have their own offices, their own presidency, their own board. That reaches down to the smallest unit of the Church everywhere in the world...
“The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.”
and....
Julie B. Beck, former general Relief Society president, eloquently instructed Mormon women on how to gain a better understanding of our own priesthood duty, as well as where and how we all obtain God's power to accomplish His work:
"I will say the priesthood duty of sisters is to create life, to nurture it, to prepare it for covenants of the Lord. Don’t confuse the power with the keys and the offices of the priesthood. God’s power is limitless and it is shared with those who make and keep covenants. Too much is said and misunderstood about what the brothers have and the sisters don’t have. This is Satan’s way of confusing both men and women so neither understands what they really have. . . . “Mine is a home where ev’ry hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood pow’r, With father and mother leading the way.” Mine is a home where every hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood power. That is your responsibility, sisters, to help your home be a home that is blessed every hour by priesthood power. It isn’t just when Dad is there. It’s not just when Mom is there. It’s not just when a priesthood ordinance or blessing is being performed. It’s every hour as ordinances, as covenants, are made and kept."
No I don't feel oppressed, nor do I regret in any way shape or form my choice of religious beliefs. And No,, I really don't want the title of priesthood holder..... Motherhood and helpmate is more than enough for this "oppressed yesteryear Mormon lady"
just had to get that off my chest,, as jumbled up and random as my thoughts may be. :-)
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