No pain can be a loss

At the beginning of the week, I was laying in the lovesac, a beanbag "chair", at the end of our bed watching tv, Todd had just gotten out of the shower and was sitting on the edge of the bed, when suddenly I heard "what the heck..... Honey, I'm bleeding everywhere, come here please!"  Me being the incredibly awesome caregiver that I am, sigh heavily, and roll off my comfy seat to go look.  Todd has his hand cupped around the bottom of his big toe, and the ENTIRE bottom is raw, red, not bleeding though.  THE ENTIRE BOTTOM OF HIS BIG TOE! 

I look at him and say "what the crap did you do?, does it hurt?"  He says no, but I can hear the anxiousness in his voice, he is freaking out.  I kinda am too to be honest with y'all.. this is gross and peculiar.  I grab some gloves, a gauze, tape and lavender oil, wrap it up, find the piece of skin that was discarded on my floor and toss it out.  

The next day I am looking at his toe, changing the dressing on it, and I notice a HUGE blister on the toe right next to his big toe.. DUDE WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING??????  He doesn't go anywhere, he sits in his chair in the family room watching tv, the furthest he walks is simply around the house. How on earth is he getting these freaking sores????  Think, think, think, he sits in his chair in the family room,,, with the DISH HEATER on HIGH right at his feet. Slap my head!   Seriously, he has burnt his toes and can not even feel it! WHO DOES THAT??  Someone with horrid nerve damage is who. 

I have our friend who is a nurse come take a look at it and she confirmed he has burnt his toes. 

WELL, being the loving caregiver that only I can be, That heater is being tossed in the garage, hidden far from sight,,, (he can't really see so I have to hide it from the minion kids that do his bidding when I'm not around!) and pulling out his electric blanket!  He claims he doesn't use it because he's afraid he will trip on the cord.  My response, (loving caregiver voice of course), Don't walk around the house with the blanket on goofy!!!!

I was freaking out that he was going to lose his toes, until we figured out what was going on.  He didn't realize he had burnt his toes because he has no feeling in his leg. Every time I turn around, or think we are ahead of this battle just a little bit, something like this happens to bring me crashing down to earth.  If he can't feel when he's burning his feet, what else could happen??  I mean seriously,, what other damage can and probably will unintentionally be done because he can't feel anything. It's like no matter what we do, I can do nothing more but pray and watch as this quicksand takes over his entire body.  I can do things to slow the quick sand down, but it wont stop it,, not until he gets that new kidney. 

  Seriously,,, I dare anyone to come up to me and tell me Diabetes doesn't kill any more.  Go ahead.  Accept the challenge.