Onward and upward

No matter how much I ACT all tough and "heartless" I really do care what people think of me.  For some reason, when God was putting me together, my filter got misplaced, I tend to speak without thinking. and my fierce protective momma bear instinct was doubled, even tripled, and extends to not just my family but my friends I consider family, sometimes even a complete stranger that has been wronged will be included in that protective bubble,, you hurt them, I WILL SPEAK UP, GUARANTEED!   Sometimes it bites me in the ass, sometimes it opens people's eyes, hearts and minds... either way, it tends to happen more often than not.

 However, if I happen to offend you by saying something you don't want to hear, or "overstepping my boundaries" and becoming protective, and you don't tell me about it,,or you tell me I've hurt or pissed you off yet won't talk to me further about it,  who does it really affect?

I can only do so much to fix, not the right term but stay with me, how I have wronged you, or how you feel I have wronged you, and even that is pretty much useless if you are wanting to hang onto all that anger, hurt and resentment.  It is NEVER my intention to hurt any body.  EVER.  I rarely, if ever,  regret saying what I say or doing what I do.  I often regret how I say something, and I will do everything in my power to correct that.  It is who I am.  * just a little rant I had to get off my chest * So speak up people,, and no I don't mean right this second,,, *geesh I can just see the comments that are going to be left on this post now!*, if I offend you or upset you,, tell me, be willing to talk about it with me.

I'll never forget when we lived in LaVerkin, UT, and something had happened between Kenzie and her group of friends,, and she came home in tears, I had gone and talked to these kids, and called one of them a liar, not my proudest moment.. This girl went home in tears and told her mom what I had said, and the mom called me and said,, "I wasn't going to say anything, I was just going to let it go, but she's really upset and I thought to myself, NO, if this had happened to Kenz and she told Rhonda, Rhonda would say something to me"  TO THIS DAY, we have a great relationship, this mom and I.  I appreciate her telling me I had hurt her child, and she appreciated me listening to her and fixing what I had done wrong.

So,, who does it really affect? 

My thoughts are so jumbled up right now it is crazy,,  so I'm leaving all the negative behind.. my life is now and forever will be a HAPPY ZONE!, I don't have the time or energy to let negative thoughts, people or things into my life.

Ok on to FANTASTIC NEWS!  WE GOT A CALL FROM THE TRANSPLANT TEAM!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA

We go up to Salt Lake City May 14 for an all day appointment, we meet the nurse coordinator, the social worker, finance, and learn what to expect post transplant, what medications Todd will need, out of pocket expenses,*if this happens this year there will be NONE! WOOT WOOT*, and then we meet the nutritionist, have lunch, then the nephrologist and the surgeon.  SOOOOO FREAKING EXCITING!!!!! We just may make a mini vaca out of it and stay in SLC for a couple days.  I am slightly apprehensive of the unexpected, but we have been waiting for this for so long, we are ready.  I certainly know Todd is ready to feel whole again!! 

We have been talking alot about what our future holds lately, and he can't wait to start work, do what he feels he needs to do, what he loves to do, and that is provide for me and our family, I didn't realize until the other day how much it kills him that I am the one that HAS to work to support our family,, this was NEVER his intention when we got married. He always told me I would only work if I wanted to, not because I would have to.  I never thought about it, about how my working affects him, honestly it makes me feel kind of awesome, that I am able to *somewhat* provide for my family. ONWARD AND UPWARD PEEPS!!!!!!