One day ... *ramble ramble ramble,,sorry,, my thoughts are all over... again! haha*

you just realize that the tears are fewer, the hurt is a little less, the happiness is starting to not seem so fake.

You realize an hour has past and you have gotten busy with something else and not thought about what you lost that cold December day.

And you have guilt. 

Guilt over being happy, over not letting missing them consume your every waking moment like you did just a few weeks or even days ago.

And somewhere, out of nowhere, it just hits you,, they are happy for you! They are smiling because you are smiling.

One day you realize that the storm you have journeyed through has completely changed your view on things.   We were in Relief Society today, *a lady's 'sunday school' class if you will*, and discussing our trials and how some are greater than others.  I don't remember exactly how it came up, but I remember sitting there and my gut was just turning... Why do we do that?  Why do we downplay our trials?  I have lost count of how many times I have had someone say to me "oh what you are going through is much worse, I need to just suck it up!"

NO YOU DO NOT!!! 

We need to stop comparing our trials to those of others. What you are going through at this point and time is just as traumatic to you as what anyone else is going through. Stop belittling your trials.  Please!!! PLEASE!!!! They are important. They help us grow... whether it be through serving others, or by going through this particular trial.  Trials shape who we are, and who we become.

Another thing I hear is "you are given nothing more than the Lord knows you can handle"

 FALSE! just saying',,

I belive in a pre existence, I also firmly believe, and you are free to disagree with me, this is just my feelings on this,, that we agreed to the trials and blessings we would receive here on earth.  I believe I personally sat on the knee of my Heavenly Father, and He said to me,, "here is your bag of trials I have for you.. these are gonna be hard, if you go down there,, these are going to seem unattainable,, You can do it, I know you can, but it's going to be hard"  AND because there was no veil at that point, because we could see all things, and the final chapter of our story, I agreed to it.. with enthusiasm.  I knew it would be hard, I knew it would hurt,, I knew I would grow.  I knew I had to do these things in order to be able to return to live with my Heavenly Father forever.  

Insert veil

all things are forgotten, we plug along in life.. we struggle, we cry, we laugh, we love, we lose, we bring our parents joy, we hurt our parents, we cause them pain, we watch as our own children do the very same things to us... and we wonder why..... because of the veil.  How much easier would it be to go through this earthly life with No veil!!!  But we would not grow, we would not become more Christ like.  After all is that not why we are here?  To attain Celestial glory? To return to the loving arms of our Heavenly Father? The one person who loved us so very much, He gave us His son, our older Brother, to help us return to live with THEM one day?

So before you go saying your trials are easier than mine, or the Lord wouldn't give you more than you can handle,, pause!!!  

Take stock in everything you have gone through, how hard it is.. how much it hurts, how much joy it brings you.. and allow yourself to grow.  Allow yourself to feel the pain, cry the tears, don't belittle what you are going through, it is an important part of who you are destined to become.  

And one day, you will look back and smile, and realize the tears are fewer, the storm is lessening, the clouds are lifting, the sun is shining, and you survived! You came out on top, and your biggest cheerleaders are smiling with you!!!