2013 Johnson style : Oh what a reunion It must have been...

On Thursday, March 5th. My toy poodle/Chihuahua mix joined her boys in heaven. I was angry,, heartbroken,, sad, relieved.... how can you feel all those things at once? She was with Levi and Todd again,, she loved them so much. I was third choice. But what comfort she brought me over the last three months. I miss seeing her on my bed, while I lay there and watch TV until the wee hours in the morning and sleep finally creeps in. I truly come home to an empty house now. Everything for a reason. *sigh*

Levi's birthday is this Saturday. Oh I miss him. I am having a huge number of friends and family join me at his favorite restaurant for his birthday,, Red Robin. He loved the mac and cheese. haha
My children will all be here except our missionary, I haven't seen most of them since December. I miss them too. It will be so odd to have them all here, and not have their dad and brother here. I found their Christmas presents in the back of my closet... sigh.

I'm feeling frustrated today. Frustrated with all the crap we have to go through in this life. Stuff we agreed to in the pre-exsistence. *Did I honestly agree to these trials,,?*, why do we have to go through so much yuck to get to the good stuff? The eternal blessings we are promised? Then I think of my loving Savior, who went through so much more for each one of us. The pain He endured in Gethsemane, the betrayal He felt by those closest to Him, that moment when His Father had to leave Him completely alone,, that 30 seconds....when his Father couldn't bear to watch His only Begotten in so much pain and agony, yet they both knew it needed to be done,, for you and for me. If He can do that, surely I can do this menial little challenge,, can't I?

I went for a walk today around my neighborhood with a sweet friend, and came upon a group of Levi's friends.. their hugs brought tears to my eyes. These sweet boys make me feel so loved. They hug me like they actually mean it, not some wussy *if I have to hug you I will * Hug,, but an honest to goodness, we love you Rhonda hug. They smile when they see me,, no matter where. I hope they never stop. I am pretty sure they have no idea how much I need them all!!

So again, as Saturday draws closer, when you see me,, please hug me just a little longer, don't tell me you're sorry,,, I already know that, just tell me you love me, come joins us at Red Robin, as we laugh, cry and share all that is that little bundle I never thought I would have. And if I'm crying,, feel free to join me.

#somedaysareharder