Just my thoughts on the whole "protesting" at conference thing

I chuckle and shake my head every time I see anything to do with the group of women who are protesting the church's stance on women holding the priesthood.  I don't get it...  Am I seriously missing something here?  This is a group of LDS or "Mormon" women who want to be ordained priesthood holders??  SERIOUSLY?? Why do we have to go looking for things to protest? Is there not anything worse in this entire world than a woman being told she can't hold the priesthood?

Here's my view and opinion on the entire thing,, as muttled as it may be, it's still my stance on it....


I either have a fantastic marriage where I don't feel oppressed or I'm trapped on "little house on the prairie", or I'm completely blinded by my faith.  In the 12 years, this may, that we have been married, never once has my husband mistreated me, or made me feel inferior to him.  He is a priesthood holder.  He is THE priesthood holder in our home.  I can turn to him for comfort, for guidance, for unconditional love.  Our kids can turn to him for these same things.  He doesn't "rule" our home, He and I do that together.  We make decisions together that affect our entire family. 

When Todd and I were talking about getting married, he asked me how I felt about working, and, after being a single parent for 8 years and having to do it all on my own, my back got a little up and my response was "well,, if I have to,, but I didn't really have kids so they could be raised by someone else.  but if I have to" He kinda chuckled on the phone, he was in Vegas and I was in Canada, and said to me,,, "As long as you don't want to work, you won't have to,,, if you want to get a job, that is fine, Please know you don't have to though,  it is my job to provide for you and our family,, and your kids are going to be my family!"  WOW!!  Awesome! YAY!!! for me!!!!!!   My dream was to be a stay at home mum, to be there when my kids went to and got home from school.  That was/is my role in life.  That is my job.  Not because "little house on the prairie says it is my job" and certainly not because ANYBODY in the church leadership says it's my job... but because I am the MUM!!!  Mother hood is my role! 

Over the last year and a half our household responsibilities have shifted... Todd has gone from bread winner to stay at home dad, and this wasn't his first choice.  He thrived on providing for our family.  Watching him not be able to work, and slip into a dark abyss has been so very hard.  It's a struggle for a man to not be able to do what he once could.  (I told you my thoughts were muttled!)

Let's clear one thing up right now,, I hold the priesthood,,, I use the power of the priesthood every day!!

• when I say my personal prayers
• when I ask for a blessing for myself, or a member of my family
• when I sent my son on a mission
• when I take the sacrament every Sunday
• when I support a member of our church in their callings
• and when I fall asleep at night with my arms wrapped tightly around my husband!

There are many other times I can't think of right now,,, as my mind seems to be completely blank.  But make no mistake, I utilize and use the power of the priesthood every day of my life.

A girl I worked with told me I was being oppressed and held back my my choice of religions. I didn't know what to say to her... I really don't like religious debates with those I don't know well, I feel inadequate and unable to get the right words out in a heated discussion. I am not well versed in the scriptures, at all.  So I looked at her and responded with this... "how am I being oppressed?  I love it when he opens my door, holds my hand, wraps his arms around me,, lays his hands on my head to offer a blessing of peace upon me, I love that I get the comfy chairs in church,... that all the men stand as the sisters enter the room for 5th Sunday joint meetings, I love how respected and cherished I feel, and I am beyond happy,,, please tell me again how oppressed I am"
"well you don't hold the priesthood"  was her response, so I spouted off the above list to her.  and she went quiet.

How often do we hear of our leaders talking about their wives and how weak they are? WE DON'T!!! What we hear is how much our leaders lean on their wives, how much they love them, how much these big strong priesthood holders depend on their partners to get them through all they have to do.  You have never heard them utter one negative word about their wives.

Sounds to me like they couldn't do what they do without their partners right by their sides.  And that's how it is supposed to be.  

Gordon B. Hinckley, prior President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said:

“Women do not hold the priesthood because the Lord has put it that way. It is part of His program. Women have a very prominent place in this Church. Men hold the priesthood offices of the Church. But women have a tremendous place in this Church. They have their own organization. It was started in 1842 by the Prophet Joseph Smith, called the Relief Society, because its initial purpose was to administer help to those in need. It has grown to be, I think, the largest women’s organization in the world... They have their own offices, their own presidency, their own board. That reaches down to the smallest unit of the Church everywhere in the world...
“The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.”

and....

Julie B. Beck, former general Relief Society president, eloquently instructed Mormon women on how to gain a better understanding of our own priesthood duty, as well as where and how we all obtain God's power to accomplish His work:

"I will say the priesthood duty of sisters is to create life, to nurture it, to prepare it for covenants of the Lord. Don’t confuse the power with the keys and the offices of the priesthood. God’s power is limitless and it is shared with those who make and keep covenants. Too much is said and misunderstood about what the brothers have and the sisters don’t have. This is Satan’s way of confusing both men and women so neither understands what they really have. . . . “Mine is a home where ev’ry hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood pow’r, With father and mother leading the way.” Mine is a home where every hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood power. That is your responsibility, sisters, to help your home be a home that is blessed every hour by priesthood power. It isn’t just when Dad is there. It’s not just when Mom is there. It’s not just when a priesthood ordinance or blessing is being performed. It’s every hour as ordinances, as covenants, are made and kept."

No I don't feel oppressed, nor do I regret in any way shape or form my choice of religious beliefs.  And No,, I really don't want the title of priesthood holder..... Motherhood and helpmate is more than enough for this "oppressed yesteryear Mormon lady"

just had to get that off my chest,, as jumbled up and random as my thoughts may be.  :-)

Getting closer and closer

  We have been going to St George every week for Dialysis classes since Todd had his port surgery.  This is where we learn how to do this at home and on our own. Scary....... YOU BETCHA!  I love our home care nurse. Not to be confused with a nurse who comes into your home and helps with the care of an ailing loved one, Our home care Nurse is, one who is teaching us how to use the machine for dialysis, and how we hook up dialysis should there ever be an emergency where there is no power. *Never thought about how absolutely scary that can be before now, but that's another post I'm sure*

Erma is her name.  She is hilarious!!!  And incredibly patient.  She walks me through how to set up the machine, and how to hook up Todd and get everything going, and then how to unhook him in the morning.  Yesterday was the first day I did it all on my own, well with her talking me through it and not doing anything else.  I PASSED!!!! YAYAYAYAYA!  well, I passed that part!  lol I still have to be "certified" or be passed off on giving Todd needles in the arm once a week to help his red blood cell count grow! hehe

We have one more class, I think, I hope.. these runs to St George every week, although I love going up there and seeing our girls, are starting to wear on me.  4 hours isn't too bad in a car for someone who is healthy, it takes an awful lot out of Todd, and his swelling increases every time we do it, so I'm rather looking forward to when we can go back to going up every two weeks instead.  Once we get our supplies delivered to our house, Erma will make a trip down here and watch as we set up our machine, and as I hook up Todd for the first time.  I don't think she will stay the night, although she may, we will figure that out when the time comes.

I did the unthinkable, at least in my world,, for the first time in 8+ years I no longer have acrylic nails.  SAD SAD SAD DAY!  This was my ONE thing I did every two weeks, for the last 8 years.  It was my time. My pampering moment as Todd calls it.  Right up until I am told they are a HUGE bacteria trap and considering I am going to be helping Todd hook up to dialysis on a daily basis and will basically have his peritoneal cavity WIDE OPEN! *ok not wide open but a definite access route open* for bacteria, I thought it was a very smart decision to have the nails filed off.  Todd shed more tears than I did, *I didn't shed one tear!* when I came home and showed him, when I told him I had a nail appt he just figured it was a normal nail appointment.  Now he's pouting that I can't scratch his back.  haha poor baby right?? Scratch your back and spread bacteria to your innards, or give you the healthiest, cleanest environment for your dialysis I can... boo hoo! lol 


Mackenzie has moved into a bigger apartment, a two bedroom, as opposed to the 500 sq ft hallway she's been living in for the last 1 1/2 years.  We got to see it yesterday.  She's so excited and is so excited to decorate it.  It brought back memories of when I got my very first, on my own apartment.  She is still on her own, no room mates, and she seems to like it that way.  No worrying about people stealing her stuff, or abusing her stuff, or wrecking her credit by leaving her high and dry to pay the rent on her own.  She's doing great at her job and is loving life right now.  :) 

She asked if Levi could come up for his birthday to "hang out" at her new apartment, so he is up there this weekend,, He was so excited!!  I heard him on the phone with her on Wednesday saying "so what are we gonna do Kenz?  Are you going to spoil me??" He only asked this because because he overheard a conversation between her dad and her the other day.  

I still can't believe that little monkey is 11!!  Seriously!! Why?  Why do they have to grow up??  I didn't have kids so they could all leave me!  I look at him and I swear he's grown 3 inches overnight. I love that he still needs me and his dad and he still wants to need us.  He comes for hugs, snuggles, smooches.... and I willingly give them.. sometimes overboardingly!  *it's a word in my world!*

Ashalee is on her own too, also in St George, with roommates, although she had a date last night so we weren't able to see her apartment yet!!  Maybe next week?  We miss having her come visit and actually spending some serious time with her, not just grabbing a quick bite to eat before we head back home.  She is busy being a nanny and says she loves it!!  She may have found her niche, she is so good with kids!! I'm still hoping she will pursue a career singing, she has an amazing voice.

I am off to work! YAY for having a job I enjoy, for the most part and management that let's me have the time off I need to care for my family's health!!!

Catch ya on the flip side!

Let's work together!

I absolutely love it when teachers are willing to and do work hand in hand with parents and vice versa.  We simply can not do it alone, raise our kids, and honestly why would you want to?  Teachers are a fantastic resource that are very influential in the education of our kids.  *well mine anyway,, I don't have the patience to homeschool*

I have told my children's teachers the same thing at the beginning of every school year, "I won't believe everything they tell me about you, and you don't believe everything they tell you about me!"  I have had a run in or two over the years with teachers that think they know what is best for our kids,, *que momma bear* for the most part, I'd say 99% of the time, I back a teacher up, if our kids come home and say 'Mr. S said we couldn't go for recess because no one was listening and that's not fair', my question to the kids is 'were you listening',, usually they are part of the problem when this occurs,, kids know they are way more affective in packs, and when 3 or 4 start, it's easy to give in to peer pressure and NOT talk, or NOT play nice, or even *and I in no way condone this behavior* Bully.

Levi came home from school yesterday really upset about something that had transpired in class, with a sub, and the sub told the entire class they had to write lines at home,, 75 times "I will not talk in class"
To me, no big deal, just write the lines, get it over with. whatever.  choices = consequences right?

When Levi continues to tell me it was only two kids in his class that were talking and being distruptive,, hmmmm not cool to punish the whole class for this! SORRY!

So I emailed his teacher,, and this was his response!!

Hi Mr. S

Levi came home from school today, March 18, quite upset. He told me there was a boy in class, Dennis, who was behaving while you were in class in the am, and got rewarded with chips, (as levi understood it to be) and as soon as you left Dennis had started to goofing around during writing, and talking with Corey. At the end of the day the substitute then told the entire class that they each had to write 75 times "I will not talk in class".

While I have absolutely no issue with teachers taking action against classes when it is difficult to tell who is acting up or the entire class is being difficult, I do take issue with Levi and the other students being disciplined for something only two students were doing to disrupt the class.

Levi told me that he felt if he said anything to the sub she would just give the class more lines to write.

Bottom line is he came home feeling very unjustly treated, and is rather upset by how the whole thing went down. I certainly do not think nor do I believe that he is perfect,, Levi has his faults, however, this being the first time he has come home, this year, being this upset over how a situation was handled in class, I am believing him. He has come home in the past and told me when he has had to do extra work, or miss recess because of something he participated in that led to misbehavior. Because of this neither his Dad or I felt it was right to have to write out 75 times "I will not talk in class".

I believe that teaching should be done with love and not with fear. This sub then "threatened" the class that she would call you to check to make sure the students have all done the lines. I say threatened because according to what we are being told, she had told Dennis over and over again "strike one, strike two.." with no follow through.

Please feel free to give me a call if there is more to this issue than we are being told. Thank you for taking the time to address this issue with me!! I appreciate it

Mrs. R Johnson
702-816-7636

HI,

        I'm sorry for what ever transpired in class, he certinly does not have to write anything and I will be dealling with the class tommorrow. I agree, teaching is not about fear butbringing out the buest of people and kids. I will also be forwarding your concern to admin as well as the front office. Please feel free to give me a call and tell Levi no to worry. To give you a heads up, I would like to read your mssage omiting any name of who it is from. I would like to prove to the class that their actions effect everyone else.

        In addition, I was notified by the aid that is in my room that theire was a problem with the sub. Thank you for bringing this to my attention in writing, and if you are not comfertale sharinging the content of your letter then please let me know. I will hold off reading it untill I hear back from you.

                                                                                                   Sincerely,

                                                            

Mr. S

 

 

yea he has spelling errors, I'm chalking it up to him being tired and frustrated with what he got feedback on.  *my fingers trip over the keyboard plenty*  I really am quite happy with his response.  The fact that I was not the only one who recognized something wasn't right with this sub, made me feel even better.  I'm only sorry that Levi and the other behaved kids had to deal with it.

 

*it really was quite humorous to hear him say "mum, a bunch of us on the bus said we were going to talk to our parents about this because this is so unfair!  the sub knew who was talking, and she kept giving him warnings and warnings and then BOOM, the whole class has to write lines,, it's crap mum!"*

 

 

Dialysis round two!

Todd and I headed up to St George again on Thursday, for dialysis training and a follow up with one of his dr's.  We were at Dialysis for 4 hours!!  They had to give him more iron, run through the first part of how we do this dialysis at home, and do 1/4 of a treatment, because his catheter is still healing and all we want to do is make sure that nothing is clogging the catheter while it is healing.  Everything went well.  We go up again next week for another lesson, and I think it will be our last, then our dialysis QUEEN, Erma,  will make a home visit down here and watch me do everything to make sure it is done correctly!  No pressure right!

Everything has to be soo sterile.  I didn't realize that there is a huge risk of infection while his catheter is open,, it's only open twice, once to attach it, and once to disconnect it, but for those approximately 30 seconds total, the risk is huge!!!  Hand sanitizer is now our new best friend!!!! 

I'm excited to be able to do this at home.  We will still have to travel up to st george twice a month for check ups, but honestly we go up that often any way.  And she is willing to come down here if we have issues, and we have her cell number for emergencies, as every other one of her patients do.

People ask me why don't we switch to Henderson dr's... well,, did you read my post about 10 hours in the er with no FOOD OR WATER and Todd's diabetic,, and the nurse's excuses were all "we didn't know what diet he was on" *insert eye roll*

NO WAY PEOPLE! This man is my life.  I waited a long time to make him mine forever, and now that we are sealed, 3 years on the 19th we've been sealed, I want him around with me in this life for just a while longer!!!

Our dr's up in St George all say they are surprised by the number of nevadians that come up for health care in St George.  We could move back up there, and we may, for now, this is where we need to be.  We have an incredible support family down here, and we need that right now!  Maybe in a year, maybe two, we are leaving it in the Lord's hands.

Thank you for all your prayers and blessings!  We love you all so much!!!!

Erma, Todd and Me learning to be a nurse!!! GO ME!!!  Seriously looking into going to school to get my medical assistant certificate, maybe keep going onto nursing!  (would move to Dixie state for that)

TMI!!! Maybe, but yall know I don't have a filter!

Where to start......

*first grab the kleenex,, me,, not you... ok, here goes nothing,, emotional monsoon in 3,,,2,,,1,,,, GO!*

What a week!   We went up on Sunday to stay the night in St George because Todd's surgery for his dialysis catheter was scheduled for Monday at 5:45 am.  We get to the hospital, get him checked in, and they take him off for surgery about 7:30.  YAY!  It was went really quickly, mainly because Todd's parentals came down and helped keep me occupied and my mind off things. *thank heavens*

The dr comes out and tells me every thing went great and I will get to see him in about 40 minutes, and we will get to go home about an hour after that.  YAY!!!  I'm elated, happy, relieved,,, until an hour goes by and no one comes to get me. I go up to the desk and ask and she says, someone will be out to talk to me in a minute. *Ensue panic attack*


The nurse comes out and tells me that they are admitting him because of low blood sugars,, WTH? Duh his blood sugars are low, he's been fasting and you put him under!  After about an hour we finally get into a room and they bring in my love.  The CNA comes in and says he's been admitted for high potassium,, WHAT?!?!?!? So instead of arguing with him, I ask for him to find me Dr Mercadom the nephorologist, or Dr Lewis, the surgeon, to come talk to me please.  I need to know why we are still here.  Ok,, he says someone will be there to talk to me soon,, so I wait, and wait and wait,,, all the while they are cramming meds down Todd, trying to bring up his potassium and level out his blood sugars.  Then I mention he hasn't used the bathroom yet,, so they do a bladder scan and see he has 1600 ml of urine in his bladder! OUCH!  In goes that catheter,, *yes I laughed a little until I saw the pain in his face*

And to top it all off, I didn't get the expected email from our Missionary, computers were down at the library, yes I get a little stressed when I don't hear from him,, can't imagine what it was like when you had to wait for snail mail!!!  OIY

THE NEXT MORNING Dr M walks in and says "don't hate me for all the meds!" to which my response is, "where the hell were you last night and why didn't you come talk to me?"  he says he talked to Todd, and thought Todd would talk to me,,, HELLO how many people do you know are put under anesthesia and wake up able to carry on a conversation with details????  (our missionary emailed on tuesday this week,, yay one stress gone!)



*note our Dr's refer to me as a pitbull that is loveable, they know I need to know what is being done and why, and a copy of all orders and lab results, and they have actually said they love that about me!*

So Dr. M says we can go home as soon as Todd uses the potty!!!  So all day we are waiting for him to use the potty,, no such luck.  UGH! We get discharged with the condition that he has a catheter in for his bladder. Apparently the anesthesia and the pain meds they gave him during surgery "activated" the nerve damage in his bladder and it went caput! GREAT!  And we have instructions to go see a urologist ASAP... ok so now I am upset because they are sending him home with a catheter, anything could happen.,, and we are in a completely different state.. *please don't tell me we need to move, heard that enough*  I realize they send people home all the time with catheters, but they are usually in the same state,, So after much crying, threatening to leave him in st George on the street, and finally calling in reinforcements of his MOM, *THANKS MOM!*, he agrees to stay in town at a hotel until Thursday.

Thursday, we go to the urologist, tell him what's going on, and he does what has to be done,, fills todd's bladder from the outside, takes out the catheter and the pressure is on to see if he can pee on his own!,, I start chanting "push it out, let it flow,, gooooo peeee!, the urologist laughs so hard, todd glares at me, I just keep chanting and for added assurance,turn on the tap at the sink in the room!  PEE DAMM YOU!

FINALLY!! WE HAVE PEE!!!  hahaha Todd threw his hands in the air and says "I'm a big boy again!!!"  I laughed so hard.  He wasn't able to completely empty his bladder, but we now know this isn't permanent damage as of yet.  WHEW! Not sure he could handle one more thing breaking on his poor body.  So the dr sends us home with disposable catheters that he has to use in the morning and at night,, and if there is under 200 ml of fluid or less that is drained this way, we are good to go and we don't have to go back to the pee pee dr!!!  Start praying peeps!!!



Then we head to the Nephrologist,  *seriously thinking of nursing school at this point!* And Dr M and Dr L send us to the Dialysis center down the hall,,

Where we are introduced to our awesome Dialysis Nurse, Erma, and she gives us the low down on what to expect and when to come back for lessons on how to do this at home!  Dr L comes in and says,, "let's do a treatment now,, we are worried still about his potassium," Ummm hello,, 4 day old catheter for dialysis here,, it's a baby,, hasn't healed,, Erma doesnt want to do this!!!!  Dr L says do  a baby baby treatment, so she does.. YAY first dialysis treatment done.. This bumps up Todd's medical status to be eligible for medicare. So that on top of his insurance, we are 100% double covered.

We grab a bite to eat and head home!! 



I seriously want to collapse.  I am completely and utterly emotionally drained,, I can only imagine how Todd feels.  A huge thank-you to Sabrina who more than willingly took Levi, for what started out as over night, and changed into a week long sleep over!!! To Gwen who checked on our dog and our house, Aubree who grabbed the mail for us, and did whatever else we needed her to do while we were up there,, To Todd's parents who sat with me during surgery, and recovery and who chuckled at the cna when he dared roll his eyes at me, because he apparently does Not know me.. *foolish little boy*. To all of you, who keep me sane, who check in, who let me know you are thinking and praying for us, for everything.

Our next step is to do our homework that we were given on peritoneal dialysis, and pass the tests, then start at home dialysis on a daily basis once the catheter is healed and secure. Todd says he can feel the tube flipping around in his stomach sometimes,, I compared it to an early pregnancy movement,, he compares it to spiders,,, I'll stick with the early preggo movements thanks!

 Can I just say if you're reading this, have diabetes and not taking care of yourself properly,,,, Shame on you for putting your family and loved ones through that. 

So here we go,, onto the next step of our journey!