Ripped off

That's how I am feeling today.  Completely and utterly ripped off.  I should have a husband that has a new kidney and is healthy again.  I should have a 15 yr old driving me completely nuts, and we, as parents, try to determine how much is enough screen time, and whether or not it is worth the fight to turn it off.  It's a thin line,, that parenting and wanting to be their friends.  Wanting to ensure they grow up responsible, and productive, and wanting to let them do whatever, because heaven forbid he be mad at us!

I feel ripped off... ripped off of being a wife, of celebrating a huge double digit anniversary, of knowing he's there.

I feel ripped off of seeing my baby grow to be a man, of watching him come into his own through out the "FUN" teen years.

I often sit and wonder what he looks like, 4 years later,, how tall is he? What color is his hair? Do I still have to fight with him to eat? To shower? To clean his room...., oh who am I kidding, I gave up on that years ago!!

I want him back,,I want them both back.  It's weird because I know there Todd is healthy, he is doing what is needed.,,, He is whole again. and that makes my heart so happy, and I can't wait to see him again, and be reunited with him. 

Levi on the other hand,, was healthy,, happy,, excelling in everything he touched.  He was so smart, and above all he had his whole life ahead of him. Todd's aunt Sharon found some old pics of Todd, HOLY COW Levi is totally his mini me!!! TO A TEE!!!!

 I wonder what he would have been when he grew up, would he still be getting incredible grades? *Yep now I am crying at work,, I really hate March, and October*

I just am left wondering....

and that sucks.

   

That little gaffer in front, is my husband!!!!

That doll like boy that is half hiding behind his sister,, my husband.  <3