The Wall

I think there comes a time, when no matter how strong we are, we hit a wall, it may not be for days, weeks, months or even years, but we will hit that inevitable "I'm over this wall!"

I hit my wall last night.  Hubster has a really hard time with his meds, I get it, I really do.  Some days he just sits on the couch and doesn't say a word, I have come to realize this is him holding his tongue.  Other days he flys off the handle over simple things like cereal not being put away, or a towel used to mop up juice on the floor still laying there after hours of having done it's job.  Something about being handed essentially a death sentence tends to put one on edge,, go figure...

After having a day where we are being pulled in 15 different directions and everyone at works needs you to do something right now, hey it's part of the job, we like nothing more than to walk into a happy home, with kids who are pleasant, a house that has had something done to it today, pickup up, vaccumed, something... the last thing we want or need is to walk into a home where you are again pulled in every direction,  "HEY MOM'S HOME, I need this, I need that, can I have this, can you do this for me, do you remember my password to.., MOM, dad said no!" 

But let's face is, being a parent is a full time job.  and when  your partner is down for the count, it is even more harrowing.  so yes, yesterday I hit a wall,, everyone was losing it, and I just wanted peace, and quiet and to not be needed for 1 hour.. 1 second even.  I locked myself in the bathroom and cried, and vented to my bestie, thanks Bestest Bestie!, and when I was done crying and venting, I laid in my bed and pulled the covers up and went to sleep, at 7:30 pm, because I was done. 

I am now up and heading out the door, to do it all again, because as parents, as caregivers, and as providers, as meanial as that whooping $11 per hour seems, this is what we do, it is what I do. We get up in the morning, we get done what needs to get done, and what doesn't need to get done,,, well sometimes that can wait until tomorrow, so my floors are not vaccumed, or mopped, the family room is cluttered, the bathrooms need to be cleaned.... For now, that can wait, maybe until I get home from work,, maybe until thursday, or friday,,, who knows.  Right now, they can wait.

Right now, I'm attacking the wall!! wish me luck.