In years past, I have hounded Todd to let me put the tree up November 1... let's pull out the decorations and get this thing started,, haha,,, and it was always a fight, it became tradition, I would beg, he would say not until after thanksgiving,, I would remind him we did a thanksgiving already, he would tell me after the REAL thanksgiving, I googled which country changed the holiday,, guess who it was,,, yup,, good ol' US of A! I still lost this argument every year... mostly because I conceded. It was all in fun. And I think the kids expected it every year. Levi would laugh, Jake and Kenz would just roll their eyes in disgust. Gotta love traditions!
This year things are different. This year is the beginning of new traditions:
I went down to Kenzie and Jeff's for thanksgiving this year. Didn't have to cook a single carrot. Mackenzie did an amazing job and cooked the entire meal all by herself. Such a change from years past. After dinner, they humored me and we went to walmart to see if I could grab the few black friday deals I needed/wanted. We got them. IN and OUT, no lines, no fighting. Easy Peasy
Friday we just chilled, and did a little more shopping, relaxed and I crocheted and she knitted. It was so nice to just be there and not have to do anything.
Saturday the three of us went shooting. It is nice to have someone in my immediate family that has a knowledge of guns and can teach me without sounding like a smartass! Jeff is so good about making sure we know what we need to before we shoot, and it's always fun to watch him interact with Kenz, and see the little things he does for her to show he loves her.
We sat and watched a couple Christmas movies together, and that was the only thing Christmasy we did,, no Christmas music, no decorating,, *weird for our family,, trust me!*
As much fun as it was, there was something missing....
Sunday I came home. I am torn between putting up a tree and not putting up a tree... the main reason is my floor is all torn up due to water damage! NO BUENO! *Lowe's is fixing it,, on their own freaking time! jerks!!,, now we have mold! but that's a whole other blog post!*
I got home yesterday and got to go out with a friend, ok so he's a little more than just a friend,, we went to dinner, then drove around Sugarhouse looking at all the amazingly overpriced houses, and their Christmas lights, talked for a bit, then went to see Mocking Jay 2... we both loved it! It was the perfect ending to a perfect weekend.
At the risk of him reading this,, let me tell you a little about him... and why he makes me smile...
- I went to get out of the truck yesterday and he "yells" (not really yells, you know what I mean) "Hey, what are you doing?" I pull my legs in and shut the door... chivalry is a funny thing,, you don't want the guy you are with to think you expect it, and it's so freaking awesome when they expect to do it without you saying anything.
- He holds my hand the entire time we are driving.
- He lets me talk about my husband and my son, and doesn't roll his eyes, or sigh in frustration
- He holds me when I cry and miss the old me and my old life, and just lets me cry.
- We can communicate and talk like grown ups about the things that are important to us, without upsetting the other person
- When he hugs me, he lets out a small almost inaudible sigh of happiness, (at least I hope it's happiness)
- He lets out a VERY audible sigh of contentness and happiness when I rub his back
- He is very patient and gives me the time I need to figure this new world out.
- He grins from ear to ear when I am meeting him somewhere and he spots me. (his whole face lights up, do you know what that does to me??)
- He makes me smile.
- He does the little things for me.. the things that matter
He isn't perfect! but he does make me laugh. And I love that. It feels good to have someone on my side again. And who knows where we will end up... for this moment, right now, it is good, and I am happy. (I am 99% sure he is too! haha)
I know it's hard for my kids to see me dating, or hear me talk about it. But they let me. And they are supportive as well, which I am so very grateful for.
So here I go, jumping into the holiday pool head first off the high dive... figuring out how on earth I am supposed to keep going with half of my heart gone, and the other half feeling so very full....
LIFE is good, it isn't always easy, and when you make the best out of a bad situation, and just keep swimming,, life is very good. And I find myself feeling less sad and more grateful with each passing day.
So Merry Christmas everyone,, I will get my tree up,, eventually, Christmas will come, Jake will be home in 14 days, Kenz will be back up here, for his homecoming, and things will fall into place.
Kiss your loved ones, overuse I love you, hold hands, hug, and keep the real meaning of Christmas in your hearts....and know there are Angels among us, helping us through it all and putting the right people in our lives.
https://youtu.be/LUtc_olEiRY
copy and paste the above link, to listen
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