Anniversarys

Anniversarys are usually filled with flowers, sentimental gifts and love. And this one will be no different. We will have flowers, the love will be tangible and the sentimental gifts are under the tree this year. It's been a year of learning who I truly am.  And how strong my children truly are. It's been a year of becoming closer than I ever dreamed with my first born, of prayers for my second born, of dreams, of figuring out where I fit in my extended family and realizing how loved we truly are.  It's been a year of asking for priesthood blessings, reaching out for hugs and comfort, of letting people in. Forgiving, even when he doesn't think he did wrong.

A year of figuring out how to live with half my heart with our Father in Heaven and the other half still beating within me. 

This year I have seen so many blessings. I have seen people at their best and their worst. My family has grown so very large.  I have realized that family isn't always blood. I hug more, I am slower to anger, I love more willingly, I seek what is important and am working on not letting what doesn't matter affect me in a negative way. Love is eternal. And that is all we can take with us. 

I know I will get to see them again. I have seen them In my dreams.  I have felt their love surround me during difficult times. I have witnessed the tender mercies of our Lord. 

I have never been so happy to see a year come to an end. 

As Christmas approaches I am reminded of the greatest gift we ever received.  The birth of our Savior. Because of that gift, I get to be with my family forever!  Because of that gift I will be reunited with those that have gone before me, and it will be as if not one day has passed that we were apart.

So I ask you today and this Christmas season, fill your homes with love. Hug a little harder. Let the little things go, the things that won't affect your eternal happiness. Remember the true meaning of Christmas. And love.  Love like you won't get a tomorrow. Make memories. Take pictures. Because one day, that is all we will have left that truly matters and helps us through each day. 

I miss them. Every single day. Some days with smiles, some days with tears. Some days with heartache, and others with laughter. I crack inappropriate widow jokes, I laugh, I cry. I continue to love.  

Thank you is not enough., yet there is nothing more I could say,  But my family could not have gotten through this year without all of you. I love each of you so very much.  And consider you all my family. 

Here's to 2016 and doing what really matters.