The Forgotten Horse

As I look at this picture all I can think of is,, 'how symbolic is this... this horse is all alone, trying to get back to his herd,, *or whatever you call horse packs! lol*, trying to find his family.  He got left behind,, forgotten..... sigh!'

It is odd what comes to have meaning to me now.  I see this print and I feel like this horse. A big chunk of my family has moved on,, forgotten me, if you will, *not really but stay with me*, left me to finish this journey on my own, to find my own way to where they are, to reach that final destination of eternal happiness, to navigate through this world and all the ups and downs it tends to throw into our paths.

I want nothing more than to take this pain away from my surviving children, my parents, his parents, his siblings. I want their ache to lessen, their tears to dry up.  Their smiles to come back and be as full and as bright as they were before.  I am left wondering if they will ever be that bright again,, if the tears will ever stop... they are getting less and less, but they still come. 

It's weird, this feeling of being lonely yet not alone.. Nothing seems to fill the void.. the emptiness...

We are coming up on another first.  Our first Easter with half of our hearts,  The first Easter in 21 years I have no reason to buy candy or toys, or Easter outfits.  21 years.  I have been a Mum for 21 years,, a wife for 12 of those.  What am I now?  Now I am a friend,  Now, I'm still a Mum, only not to any kids in my house,Now I am single,, again, sigh, Now I am a widow, Now I am.... the forgotten horse,, and it is my journey that I am facing head on, my story I need to keep writing, through the heartache and the tears,  and I pray I am able to help others who feel like they too are forgotten horses I encounter along my way.