Soo, with the question of how can we pay for these surgery's now answered, we are up and going for the first of three, hopefully just three, surgery's.
This Friday Todd is going in for Vitrectomy. Yea I had to google it! After I put in a text message to the bestie who just so happens to work in this field,
you can copy and paste this link to watch the video,, I don't remember how to make it a clickable link, sorry....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF82FOGtLRs
The above link is where you can watch it on Youtube.. it is kinda graphic, not in a gross bloody sort of way, but more of a OMG he's actually sticking that pointy thing, THREE POINTY things INTO your eyeball and you're NOT flinching kind of way.
A vitrectomy is where they go into the eye, and suck out all the hemmorage that is behind the retna. In the words of my vastly knowledgeable bestie,, it used to be a HUGE deal, like open heart surgery, and they have now done it so often it is done on an out patient basis. Still a huge deal, not nearly as scary,, for one that's otherwise healthy!
The dr is also going to cut away scar tissue that has formed in his eye, from his retna pulling away from the, what ever it's supposed to stay attached to, (I'll have bestie correct my medical terms in the comments section when she gets up for the day!) and push the retna back into place, then put a gas bubble behind the retna to hold it there until it reattaches properly.
So no laying flat for Todd for two weeks! I GET THE BED TO MY SELF! *I hate sleeping alone*
On wednesday, we go to St George for a preop appointment with the surgeon that is going to insert the catheter, or tubing, for dialysis. Hopefully that surgery will take place withing the next week or two. Except todd can't lay flat, so we will have to wait two weeks I am guessing.
We are excited to finally be on this road. It has been a long hard two years, and I know and am expecting it to get harder before it gets better, BUT, YAY!
I watch Todd more, watch how he reacts when the dr's are talking to him about what they are going to do, and it see it hitting him hard. He is scared, every time he is put under anesthesia there is a threat of him not waking up, there is a threat of something going terribly wrong in surgery, as with all surgeries, he could lose his eye being the least of our worry's,, as this eye doesn't work right now anyway.
He's scared. Which means it's time for me to be the rock. Let him lean on my strength, and not fall into the pit of depression and worry that will only speed up all the bad things and hinder that good that promote fast healing.
People ask me how he's doing all the time, what I really want to say is,, 'well, he struggles to keep food down, can't see squat, can't drive, can barely shower on his own and usually waits until I'm home before doing so, just in case he gets dizzy and falls, he doesn't want Levi to come home from school to that, he depends on me to get him any and everywhere, he "feels like a complete failure as a father and a husband because of his inability to provide for his family and 'putting so much strain and stress on my love', "his words not mine, and how are you feeling????" that's how I want to respond,,BUT,, my response is something along the lines of "He's still breathing!" There really is not much more I can say without falling apart. Anyone who has watched their best half, and this man really is the better part of me!, rapidly deteriorate before their eyes can relate to this feeling. It's a good thing he's still breathing, I love him, I NEED this man in my life on this earth!! I'm not done being happy yet and having a companion to walk through this life with!!!
People ask me how I'm doing and what I really want to say it,,, SHITTY! *true story*, I HAVE to work, I have to look after my sick ailing husband, I have to still be a parent no matter how tired I am, My right hand is in Georgia serving a mission and my other right hand is in St George living her life, as she should be doing..... Pity party much? Maybe,, I try not to think like this,..instead I say,, "I'm breathing!"
How I really feel is there is nothing on this earth I would rather do, than be by the side of the man I love more than anything else in this entire world, do I wish he was healthy... every day of my life,,, do I wish we were going through this right now,,, yes, but I'm quick to change that thinking, because honestly things could be a lot worse, do I wish Jake was still here to help me out,, NOPE! I am,, we are both absolutely thrilled with his decision and do NOT regret encouraging it at all!! Do I wish Kenzie was here still,, well not living in my house but being in town would be nice! hahaha, it'd be nice to have someone I know who loves this man ALMOST as much as I do, close by to check in on him when I'm at work so I don't stress and worry. On the other hand, we have soooooooo many friends here I can and Have called on to check on Todd and make sure he's "still breathing" every time I do, Todd promptly calls me chuckling and telling me that he loves me.
So,, friends,,, I ask you all to please keep us, especially Todd, in your prayers these next few months, as we, HE, goes through this process of getting on the road to recovery. Please pray that our loving Father in Heaven will be with the surgeons, and the surgical teams, guiding their hands and keeping watch over my sweet husband and Kenzie, Ashalee, Jacob, Andrew, Adam and Levi's awesome dad, helping him heal, and recover quickly, to become whole again. Remembering to ask,, Thy will be done.
This is how you can help us, and bring a feeling of peace and love to our hearts and home. Thank you so very much for all your love and support. We could not do this without you.
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